the jane stimulus package
craziest few weeks ever...I'm so tired, I may not survive watching the next 50 script pages print out. and then, what if I fall asleep on the printer, and my head gets stuck in the space between the ink cartridge and the paper feed, and my face is permanently deformed?!
thus: time to map out the jane stimulus package...
after the paycut at work, I've instituted the following, which have cut down on costs immensely:
1. skipping meals entirely, or replacing them with a can of $1 soup
2. saving so much money from #1 that I splurge on coffee and really snotty high-brow modern art for my ceiling
3. being so hopped up on coffee and snotty art that I start crazy creative projects
4. being so busy working on creative projects that I forget to do things that cost money; i.e. eat, do laundry, drive my car, earn a living
5. buying $9 (or less) bottles of red wine for creative project all-nighters
6. oh wait! I was already being cheap to begin with! celebrating my genius wine-buying strategies by having a glass of wine
7. emailing my friends periodically to remain sane after particularly gruesome proofreading days at work (my motto is this... as long as email = free... life = good)
8. spending a lot of time just hanging out at home with friends = the greatest wealth ever
9. making the awesome decision to be the offspring of Mr. Simmons, so I never have to buy a $20 hardback when his newest books arrive... I get one right off the truck. Again, free! I'm a genius!
10. taking it upon myself to lower the cost of gas nation-wide from $3.95 to $1.64. You're welcome, America
11. new volunteer job! volunteering is free! actually, since I'll be paying for gas and any activity/ food / outing we do, I guess that's more 'deficit' territory, but that's kind of still 'free'!
12. writing ridiculous, meaningless lists when I'm too tired to function
ah, time to do open heart surgery on the printer...
<3 (that one's for Meredith, if I remember to wake up enough to send this to her, which is unlikely at this point)
thus: time to map out the jane stimulus package...
after the paycut at work, I've instituted the following, which have cut down on costs immensely:
1. skipping meals entirely, or replacing them with a can of $1 soup
2. saving so much money from #1 that I splurge on coffee and really snotty high-brow modern art for my ceiling
3. being so hopped up on coffee and snotty art that I start crazy creative projects
4. being so busy working on creative projects that I forget to do things that cost money; i.e. eat, do laundry, drive my car, earn a living
5. buying $9 (or less) bottles of red wine for creative project all-nighters
6. oh wait! I was already being cheap to begin with! celebrating my genius wine-buying strategies by having a glass of wine
7. emailing my friends periodically to remain sane after particularly gruesome proofreading days at work (my motto is this... as long as email = free... life = good)
8. spending a lot of time just hanging out at home with friends = the greatest wealth ever
9. making the awesome decision to be the offspring of Mr. Simmons, so I never have to buy a $20 hardback when his newest books arrive... I get one right off the truck. Again, free! I'm a genius!
10. taking it upon myself to lower the cost of gas nation-wide from $3.95 to $1.64. You're welcome, America
11. new volunteer job! volunteering is free! actually, since I'll be paying for gas and any activity/ food / outing we do, I guess that's more 'deficit' territory, but that's kind of still 'free'!
12. writing ridiculous, meaningless lists when I'm too tired to function
ah, time to do open heart surgery on the printer...
<3 (that one's for Meredith, if I remember to wake up enough to send this to her, which is unlikely at this point)
posted by JustJane at
4:43 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home