new tie!

oh, man.
the new tie? it's awesome. awe...soooome.
I was practically frothing at the mouth yesterday by the time Tom showed up to help me go tie hunting... I was missing my old college clip-on tie with a vengeance. (seriously, did I ever wear anything to a Yodapez show that I should not have been publicly beaten for wearing? The Clinton High baseball jersey... the clip-on tie... although the "hello, cat!" tank top I turned into a dress for the Annie Sprinkle skit, paired with the pink silk robe, was phenomenal)

it took me all damn morning to try to figure out how to tie this tie (using nothing but intuition and a seriously sleepy half-assed attempt). This resulted in two humorous situations:

1. The following conversation with my boss when I arrived, 23 minutes late from frustrated tie tying (*author's note: we have 'choose your own flex hours' at work. I wasn't being an ass.)

Vicki: Oh, Jane. You missed it! Oh, that's so sad.
Me: What? What did I miss??
Vicki: I was sitting next to a graphic designer on the bus. He was lost looking for Crocs
Me: ... crocs?
Vicki: he was extremely dashing. And lost. And I lured him into the building so you could give him directions.
Me: (turning bright red) What?!?
Vicki: He was very nice. Did I mention 'dashing'? Isn't that the word you use? And anyway, you weren't here. Oh, it was so sad.
Me: You lured a lost, handsome artist in here? And I missed it?!?
Vicki: Hey, nice tie!
Me: oh, yeah, that's why I was late...
Vicki: He would've liked the tie. Ok, let's talk about shooting schedules...
Me (thinking to myself: hmm. there's a lesson in here about vanity and ethics)
Me again (but I'm still going to feel sorry for myself)

So, that happened, which was pretty awesome (and hilarious) (and sad) in and of itself.

then this happened:

2. I happened to notice what I looked like. I nearly dumped my mug of coffee down my legs when realizing, with the swift and acidic taste of horror, that I had inadvertently come to work dressed as a Naughty Librarian.

It started when I got frustrated with my script and accidentally leaned on my pen, causing it to snag some of the hair out of my ponytail. So I went to pull my hair out of the hair tie, but... it felt weird. It felt... I don't know... just inappropriate. So I glance down, and out of the corner of my eye, I realize what happened in my sleep-induced haze this morning:
* put on new tie
* put on button-down white shirt because collar is required for tie
* put on red skirt, which matches red tie
* decided to avoid 'schoolgirl' issue by adding short-sleeved gray suit jacket
* put on fishnet stockings because my other stockings have snags from where my boots eat them
* (don't judge me for inability to keep stockings unsnagged. baby, it's cold outside)
*added loafers. duh.
* put on glasses, failing to notice how much said outfit exaggerates their retro cat-eye effect
*grabbed the only edible thing in my apartment for lunch: an apple

So there I am, at my desk... wearing chunky-heeled loafers with fishnets and a tie and this little prim plaid situation happening, taking off my glasses to give my eyes a breather and pulling my hair out of my ponytail.

It's actually a miracle that I didn't dump coffee everywhere from shock when I realized the horrific situation I was creating. One second, I'm Ms. Professional Script Writer; the next, I'm Ms. Dewey Decimal, 'can I help you find a book? I'm ready for my close-up Mr. DeMille' (**the author recognizes that she's flailing for acceptable soft porn dialogue here. It's been a long day. And I don't think I know what soft porn dialogue sounds like, with the exception of 'did someone order a pizza here?', and that's hard to work into a naughty librarian scene. No food allowed in the library)

I will ascertain that my outfit is AWESOME and I still defend my right to wear it. I just need to remember that when I do wear it, I need to make sure that I'm not taking off my glasses and pulling my hair out of a bun while crossing my fishnet-and-loafer-clad feet. All at the same time. With an apple on my desk.
Bleh.

As part of the 5 SONGS project, Steve Weave cheered on my new accessory and suggested that I listen to one of his favorite old songs: 'new tie'.

I love. Love. Love. Love. the 5 SONGS project.
Best birthday present ever.
Emails and phone calls have been rolling in with the sweetest pondering thoughts as my friends mull over their 5 favorites.

Tom and I drove all over last night just to listen to his contenders for the top 5. And damn! They are amazing!
I had an epiphany while listening to his music-- as a kid, I was totally fascinated with (old-school) circus-related things... I read books about the original P.T. Barnum and the circus freak syndrome... I can still rattle off annoying facts about Tom Thumb, the world's tallest man, the world's harriest woman, etc. And I was equally fascinated with gypsy culture.
The epiphany is that I always kept that interest to myself... I wasn't sure if that was a noteworthy thing to bring up with others. But as an adult, much of my favorite literature, art and music is still part of that stirring, wild, gypsy/haunted circus feeling.
Which makes me wonder why I ever stopped researching those topics.

Even just getting an email from Meg saying that she wanted to pick "Southern Cross" for inexplicable reasons, except "when it comes on the radio, it makes me feel like I can do anything"

I almost cried from how happy that made me.
5 favorites... such a simple idea that becomes such a difficult thought-process.

I was getting so bummed out and tense over things that I didn't want to think about.
'5 favorites' just takes over that part of my brain and inspires me... makes me ask questions, and re-visit fond memories. It reminds me of the beautiful and complicated and nostalgic elements of the soundtracks to our lives.

It requires enthusiasm and great thought.
Tie mandatory.