to Romania, with love

New things:
My 'blog' (bleh) is now white. Why I limit myself to hideous templates like the one I've been using the past 3 years, I do not know.

We just started composting at work. That's my workplace equivalent of a white blog. A tiny thrill goes through me every time I toss a paper towel onto a pile of coffee grounds... Yay! Recycling!

I'm being SUCH a little kid tonight. I'm having one of those days where I wish we could just take food pills instead of having to eat. I'm just looking at my stomach like a dog who wants to play... stop growling. I don't want to give you attention today.

Also, agonizing over which design to order for the huuuuge wall I have just below the vaulted ceiling in my apt.
I think I'm going to get this, in white, with dark brown birds.
I drive myself crazy. Really, I do.


I've had the craziest time trying to stay warm all week.
I can't for the *life* of me maintain a normal body heat. It's really, really odd. I'm typically sort of pathetically cold throughout the winter, but this is way different... I wouldn't feel cold to the touch, but it's like the hot water heater quit in my heart, and I'm pumping cold blood through my veins.

I think I'm being haunted.

I'd better make some serious money on my Diane Sawyer interview if that's the case.

In other news: I just put up a pathetic facebook bat signal in hopes that my Romanian will put down her PhD homework* for 20 minutes and teach me a new Romanian phrase. I enjoy the prospect of her cute face lighting up when she sees it. Facebook-- it's really just a treasure hunt for grown-ups**
(*I guess it isn't called "homework" when you get that smart. Me, I'm too simple-minded to know)
(**I also have it on good authority that if you're actually a grown-up, you only use the term 'adult'. I'm 0-2 here.)

I'm very nervous about our company meeting tomorrow at the crack of dawn. I feel a little sick about it. Bad economy + loose canon year for management giving people the axe *very* unexpectedly = bad math equation. I hope there's just some lectures. I'm ok with lectures. (I have yet to escape an all-company meeting where I didn't almost pass out from nerves. I can do stand-up in front of 400 people, but company meetings is what gives me total public performance anxiety. Somewhere in my fetal development, some important wires seem to have gotten crossed)

Also!
Dan Simmons
"Drood" tour
Coming soon to a (West coast) (or Midwest) (it's weird when they randomly rule out the East coast) bookstore near you.

Last minute, I decided to put my foot down and insist that I was going on tour with him to help out, but I was overruled by the king. I don't know how he will possibly have the stamina/health to do a tour right now. But hey-- I also still don't understand how Superman can change clothes in that tiny little phone booth. I don't know everything.

Also: http://www.timescall.com/communitytc/schools-story.asp?ID=14073
LHS is putting on Deadwood Dick this year as the '10th anniversary of Asa's death'

actually... no. I'm still too mad to write about it.

My apartment is quiet and zenlike and I have been in a quiet, peaceful state of mind all evening... why take 78 steps back?

It took me years (and almost 2000 miles) to feel liberated from this stuff. I celebrate the kindred spirits from my past who are still in my life, and I'm seeking blue skies and kindred spirits in my future. That's about as much as anyone can do when grappling with their youth. And I'm very content with that.


to blue skies. and white power lines with birds. and keeping the steps pointed forward, no matter how slowly they might move sometimes.