lists for groceries; lists for life

Oh, Spring is wonderful.

Spring is just a tad more wonderful than the second best thing ever: lists.

I would not get by without lists.

Recently, I wrote a top ten list for two of my gentlemen friends... it was called "what do women want?", and gave away all the secrets of the universe. But I don't regret giving away the secrets to the universe, because I think when it comes to matters of the heart, lists are important to keep important things like chivalry and 'offering to drive' front and center.

I also consider mix tapes (/ mix cds) to be an acoustic version of lists. Lists without check boxes or strife.

This morning I wrote a long, obscure grocery list because I realized that I had been angsting (and journaling) and becoming preoccupied with groceries in a telling way-- the kind of grocery angst that really meant I was nervous that my empty fridge symbolized something like an empty soul, or an empty future. I smacked myself around and headed into King Soopers... returning with corn, sweet potatoes, the largest artichoke ever, a lime green toothbrush and a mountain of grocery staples (most of which were on sale, oh-- the rapture)

My fridge is full of happiness. My future is back out of the proverbial gutter. Amazing what a good night's sleep can do for needless worry

While my little orange potato baked, I shucked corn and wrote a new list.
An exercise list, mainly... things I keep wanting to do but don't. A friend offered a free bike, and my fingers are crossed that it's still an option... I haven't had a bike since streamers were my life's greatest priority.

I have a list brewing that feels very real and ugent... unlike the more pipe dream, half asleep lists that I penned in the sultry January snow storms.

It includes post-its for my future self to remind me that my heart yearns for:
1. swimming tomorrow at 7am
2. possibly bringing back the Asian aesthetic of the parasol this summer in an effort to get to fall without a single serious sunburn
3. hikes... Rocky Mtn. National park, Sanitas, the grasslands, everywhere
4. go white water rafting for the first time
5. find a new job. STAT. regardless of what 9 News may or may not (FINALLY) tell me this week via email three minutes after the 10pm newscast has ended
6. once I have found my new dream job-- figure out a stable schedule
7. once I have a stable schedule, become a Big Sister, or another youth mentorship program
8. call the therapeutic riding center and ask them if they still need summer volunteers for the youth with disabilities camp
9. read absolutely everything about twins. Twins blow my mind. My obsession with twins will never end, and maybe if I read up on them now, I will have the psychic ability to will myself to have twins in my early 30s when I will be married to LeVar Burton and living happily as a documentary producer and fiction writer.
10. write my buns off until I have something that I would actually have the avacados to try to publish.
11. #10 again, because it's one of the most important things I've decided all year.
12. watch the Cosmos series again front to back, mostly over at my parents' because dad can tell me what research was updated since Carl Sagan's death
13. watch all the Sopranos episodes that I missed all those years at school
14. learn how to properly chop vegetables, instead of the for-crap way that I taught myself in my bachelorette pad
15. make a mystery video, a personal project video, and "what are you doing right now?" before end of July.
16. learn Elgar's cello concerto with Maggie, my spiritual advisor since 8th grade
17. learn guitar, instead of the crap self-taught guitar I've picked up while poorly chopping vegetables
18. write an original song for guitar, cello, and piano... and memorize all three parts in case this ever becomes a desirable skill and my country calls upon me for service
19. write letters to Canada because I'm a terrible person and I never send lovely typewriter-drafted notes on vintage magazine ads like Steve has for years
20. go on a ride-along with the Longmont Police Program
21. speak with someone from the Reading Rainbow production company and Sesame Workshops to talk about what experience I actually need to get there, as opposed to the experience I'm pretending I'll need
22. do something that scares me at least once every two weeks
23. take a winter driving course
24. interview a dog expert to see how I can overcome my fear of scary dogs (or at least how to get a dog to stop attacking me if it were to ever happen)
25. write a heartfelt hand-written letter to the people at This American Life who discussed their employment opportunities to me
26. learn Thriller. The entire thing. Well enough to do it drunk in a bar surrounded by strangers.
27. audition for at least one more comedy group / project / improv troupe / standup gig
28. learn how to paint, and take a figure drawing class
29. possibly take a calligraphy class in Boulder from Marlow Brooks
30. take some kind of dance class. Preferably something fun, where I won't look like an idiot.
31. go out in Denver as much as possible during the convention, and have at least one beer with an interesting politician who wants to tell me about checks and balances in more detail than I currently understand
32. buy a new computer and set up my first at-home edit bay
33. someday: buy my own video camera
34: someday: also buy a second pair of tall high heels. they make me feel like a 1950s jazz singer, and it's absolutely worth feeling 10' tall to feel like that when I leave the apartment.

speaking of number 20...
I filled out the Ride-Along application for the Police Department this morning, and it has the craziest clauses. "Observers shall not converse with prisoners, suspects, witnesses..." "Observers shall not participate in any police activity unless specifically directed by officers" ... "No handcuffs or weapons are permitted"... "you voluntarily assume the risk of death or personal injury from the use of vehicles, weapons, unlawful acts, forcible resistance by law violators, fire, explosion, gas, electrocution, or injury in any other way..."

I'm totally excited. I scratched out the day shift and am now requesting the night shift. I really want to learn more about how law enforcement works, what part it plays in society, what it's like for people on the offender's side, how our society really works, and what the ugly side of it is that I only peek at when it's convenient for me. I want to get jury duty soon, too. I also have an itch to vote soon.
(Except... with the Kentucky votes coming in today as expected, and Kennedy's illness announced today, and Obama's scramble toward exhaustion, and the current state of the Democratic and Republican battle... OY. Maybe I don't have an itch to vote soon.)

So, lists. They're A+.
1. They help me remember things that I really want to remember
2. They make me feel organized and responsible
3. I love feeling organized and responsible
4. They make me feel happy
5. I love feeling happy.

Over and out, from a summer-hot apartment with spring fever,

JaneKathryn.